What makes a life good?

Written by:

Tom Nijsmans
🕒 Leestijd: 3 min

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No rocket science. But definitely life-changing.
The most ambitious study on human life ever conducted.
And the big question: what makes a life good?
“Connection is a superpower.”
So… what do you do with a truth like that?
And finally: a little nuance.

Meer inspiratie?

No rocket science. But definitely life-changing.

What an 85-year Harvard study teaches us about happiness, health, and leadership
How do you stay healthy, happy, and mentally sharp all the way to your 80th birthday (and beyond)?
How do you make sure your team doesn’t just deliver results — but actually thrives?
And how is it that some people stay optimistic and resilient, even in the face of stress, illness, or adversity?
 
Harvard looked into it. Literally.
For over 85 years.

The most ambitious study on human life ever conducted.

In 1938, Harvard University launched an unlikely project:
724 people from various backgrounds were tracked over time.
Every detail was measured: blood values, brain scans, medical records, interviews, romantic relationships, careers, friendships…
And not just for a few months — but for more than eight decades.
 
Today, the study even follows the children and grandchildren of the original participants.
The study was later named what we now know it as: the Grant Study, part of the broader Harvard Study of Adult Development.

And the big question: what makes a life good?

The answer turned out to be surprisingly simple. No diet plan, no perfect career path, no seven-step success formula.
🔑 Strong relationships — with friends, family, colleagues — are the single most important factor for a happy and healthy life.
People who are deeply connected to others:

 

  • Live longer
  • Get sick less often
  • Recover more quickly from setbacks
  • Have more focus, energy, and joy in life

 

And yes: the same holds true at work.
Teams with strong internal relationships perform better.
Leaders who invest in trust get engagement in return.

“Connection is a superpower.”

What does that mean in practice?
It means that:

  • A good chat by the coffee machine might contribute more to your health than your yoga membership.
  • Leaders benefit more from coaching conversations than from yet another strategic PowerPoint plan.
  • Openness, vulnerability, and curiosity aren’t soft skills — they’re survival skills for the 21st-century workplace.

Or, as Robert Waldinger — the current director of the study — puts it himself: “Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”

So… what do you do with a truth like that?

👉 Start talking. Really talking. Not to discuss the schedule, but to connect.
 
👉 Don’t just ask about KPIs — ask what drives people.
 
👉 And if you’re a leader: let people feel they’re allowed to speak — even about doubts, frustrations, or ideas that aren’t fully formed yet.
 
Small conversations, big impact.

And finally: a little nuance.

Of course, relationships aren’t a miracle cure. They don’t fix everything. But in a time when burnout is on the rise, hybrid work has become the norm, and connection is no longer a given…
…they might just be the very foundation we’ve forgotten.
 
Not as a quick fix. But as a solid base to build on.
 
The science is clear: people who feel connected live longer, perform better, and bounce back more easily from adversity. And yet, in the workplace, we often invest more in tools, targets, and time management than in real human connection.
 
It’s time to rediscover that.
Not with big or complicated actions. But with small conversations that matter. Conversations that show curiosity, create space, and build trust.
 
Who have you truly spoken to today?

Sources & further reading:

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Tom Nijsmans
Managing Director, Keynote Speaker & Inquisitive Know-it-all
Tom Nijsmans is the managing director and founder of The Tipping Point, but above all, he’s a professional skeptic with an obsession for leadership, psychological safety, and feedback culture. He dives into scientific research, extracts what truly works, and kindly discards the rest. Sometimes headstrong, always practical, and loves challenging deeply ingrained beliefs. This quest translates into sharp blog posts, the development of new insights, and delivering keynotes with passion. Expect insights that will make you think, chuckle, and maybe even rebel a little.

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